Explore my divorce mediation services
A detailed overview of how you would be working with me.
Honestly? Not much. That's on purpose.
It's about thirty minutes. I'll learn a little about the two of you and where things stand right now. Then I'll tell you how I work: what a session actually looks like, whether we meet on Zoom or in person, and what we're trying to accomplish each time we sit down.
One request. Let's not get into the substance yet. Not the house, not the schedule, not who said what. This call isn't for solving anything. It's for figuring out what kind of plan makes sense for you, and for you to decide whether I'm someone you can work with.
Personality fit matters more than people expect it to.
I prefer that you both are together, but if you'd rather talk to me separately, that's completely fine. Two calls, thirty minutes each.
I'm the neutral here, so you both get the same time and the same attention. Always. That's it. No pressure, no commitment.
One practical note: confidentiality doesn't attach until we've signed the agreement to mediate, so this call isn't protected yet. Please don't tell me anything you wouldn't want repeated.
Once you sign on with me, I will email you an intake form as well as a request for financial documents. These will be uploaded to our secure case management software program.
Nobody wants homework in the middle of this, so here's why it matters.
I can't untangle what I can't see, and New Jersey splits everything through equitable distribution, so we need the same full picture in front of both of us before we can talk about what's fair.
There's a better reason too. In most couples one person handled the money and the other didn't, and gathering these documents is often the first time the second person sees the whole picture of their own life. That's not busywork. That's the beginning of running your own finances.
If the list feels overwhelming, tell me and we'll go through it together.
How the sessions usually go. Every couple moves at their own pace, so treat this as the shape of it rather than a schedule.
Some people need fewer sessions. Some need more. That's fine. That's why we have different plans because every couple going through a divorce has different needs.
Session one: getting our footing
This is the introduction. We go through the mediation agreement together so the terms between me and the two of you are clear before we start anything. If something is genuinely pressing, we'll talk about it.
Then I'll give you homework: start pulling your financial documents together, and start thinking about what you actually want your life to look like on the other side of this.
This session is usually the hardest one. People show up scared and anxious with no real idea what mediation even is, and often one of you is here reluctantly. That's normal. If it helps, I'll speak with each of you on your own so I can hear what you're afraid of and understand what really matters to you. And if it ever gets to be too much, we stop.
We end the session and pick it up again in at least two weeks. Nothing here has to move faster than you can handle.
This is also the session where we consider if any other professionals are needed. I have a network of divorce professionals to help with all sorts of issues that seem overwhelming and too much. You are under no obligation to seek help from anyone in my networkm nor do I get any kickback. I genuinely just want to help people navigate this transition in the best possible way with the best resources.
Session two: whatever is weighing the most
This one goes in one of two directions. Either we start building your parenting plan, or we take on the financial question that's keeping you up at night. Usually that's the house. Do you sell it, and where does each of you land?
Session three: the numbers
By now something has shifted. You've found a rhythm, you've started to trust the process, and the real issues are out on the table. This is where we open the balance sheet: everything you own, everything you owe, and how the two of you want to divide it.
We'll also work out what each of you will contribute toward the children. New Jersey has an actual formula for this, set out in the Child Support Guidelines, and it factors in things like overnights. I'll walk you through how the calculation works so it isn't a black box.
Alimony gets woven into this conversation too. There's no formula for it, which is exactly why it helps to have someone in the room who knows how New Jersey courts have treated the different kinds and which one actually fits your situation.
Session four: filling in the rest
We keep going down the path we've built. Budgets get taken apart line by line, alimony gets firmed up, and whatever is still outstanding gets resolved. You're going to take a hard look at what your life actually costs. That part isn't always fun, but there is real power in being the person in charge of your own money.
Session five: your map
This one usually comes a few weeks after the others, because in between I'm writing your Memorandum of Understanding. Then we sit down and read it together, section by section, to make sure it says what the two of you actually agreed to.
The MOU isn't a formality. It's the guide to what your life is going to look like, with your kids and with everything you've divided. It's a living document, and I'm not perfect, so expect us to adjust the language as we go.
A typical MOU runs 14 to 25 pages and can hold close to 100 sections. That sounds like a lot because it is. It's your whole new life on paper.
Once your Memorandum of Understanding is final, you'll each get a copy. Take it home and read it slowly, as many times as you want. There's no rush at this stage, and there shouldn't be.
From there you have two paths.
Take it to your own attorneys. This is the one I recommend. Each of you brings the MOU to an independent attorney who adds the legal language that turns it into a Marital Settlement Agreement. That agreement gets attached to the complaint and filed with the court in your county, and that's what finalizes everything.
Or file it yourselves. You're allowed to file the paperwork on your own, without attorneys. The court calls that pro se, and people do it.
I'd rather you didn't. Not because I doubt you, but because this document will govern your life for years, and a set of eyes that belongs only to you is worth what it costs.
There are also attorneys who'll convert an MOU into an MSA without a second attorney in the mix. If that's the direction you're leaning, ask me and I'll walk you through how that works and I'll make a referral to the right person.
Either way, I'm not going to hand you off and disappear. I keep a list of attorneys who understand mediation, who won't undo the work the two of you just did, and who'll review and file for a fair fee.
